the "do you remember me?" game...

P and I had lunch at a restaurant this afternoon, and our waiter happened to be one of my former students from three years ago. Except I couldn't figure out if she recognized me and didn't want to say anything because she wasn't sure if I recognized her, or if she seriously didn't remember me. I felt kind of befuddled because this is a student who I remember working closely with. It wasn't as if it was a student who sat at the back of the room and never said a word to me because they were sleeping the whole time. So, I spent the whole lunch wondering whether I should say hello and if so how I should do it so she wouldn't be uncomfortable. I decided to wait until she brought the check and asked her something really ridiculous like "how was your first year writing course" (no wonder everyone thinks English people are losers! Can't we just be normal?) and she suddenly remembered who I was and we talked for a bit.

Still, I left the restaurant feeling dumbfounded. I said to P, wouldn't you remember your old professors if you saw them in a situation like that? And she said yeah. Then I made the rather grandiose claim that I could remember my elementary school teachers if I saw them again (I really think I could!!!) Anyway, this left me wondering about how much time one should really invest in students given that it in some cases it clearly means more to you than it did to them. This is a terrible thing to say, especially for someone in my discipline, but shouldn't this cast doubt on the amount of investment one should make? Fine, you don't remember the lessons I taught you, but your can't recognize my face? I mean, I haven't changed at all. It isn't as if I have lost a bunch of weight or suddenly shrunk! This all sounds very narcissistic, so I am going to end the post. It just made me a little sad, since so much of why you teach is about building relationships with students. Of course, I have plenty of other students whom I still keep in contact, so there's no fire to put out. I'm just sayin...