Monday, April 20, 2009

The Logics of Dentistry

Here's a question: why is it that dental hygienists floss your gums "after" they have spent the better half of an hour scraping on and in between your teeth with an ice pick? Is this an insurance policy that there is nothing whatsoever in between your teeth (as if there could be after a scrape-polish-rinse-repeat combination) or is it because they like to hurt people? This is why you floss yourself: once the string meets resistance, stop! This is not a contest to see how strong you are or how big of a guy you can make cry, it's a cleaning activity that should not produce wincing and tears...side note: I was seriously thinking that flossing could be a new form of torture for POWs as I am leaving the dentist's office...

And why is it that it is after this brutal activity that the hygienist tells you to floss more. These people need some serious help with rhetoric. Maybe hand the patient a warm cookie and then say, think about flossing more. Or perhaps a nice glass of water with a balloon. I'm sorry but a picture of a babbling brook with a quotation from Thoreau posted on the ceiling above my chair is not pacifying me at this point.

Good thing I didn't have any cavities. That would have sent me over the edge.

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